


As birds

by Raiken



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Candies, Church boy Hyunjin, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Getting Together, Lot of kissing, M/M, Rebel Changbin, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21593584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raiken/pseuds/Raiken
Summary: “Would you play a game with me?” Hyunjin asked despite his nervousness. He had thought about it, a silly game that wouldn’t conclude anything but that would allow him to assert himself.“Yes, what kind of game is it?” Changbin let go of his teasing tone for a genuinely curious one. He hadn’t expected this, which thickened Hyunjin’s confidence a bit.“A game that will taste good.”-3 times Hyunjin used pretexts to kiss Changbin and 1 time he didn't.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 183





	As birds

**Author's Note:**

> Another self-indulgent ChangJin... I smiled a lot while writing this because aren't ChangJin the cutest when they're in love with each other? Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy it. ♡
> 
> It has been beta-read, but nothing is perfect, so I apologize if there are mistakes left.

Each year before winter, in the park behind the school, teachers and students gathered around a bonfire to celebrate everyone who had graduated last semester. They'd eat snacks, drink lemonades, chat and some of the kids would ask their crushes out because that was what the conviviality of fire inspired them to do. The whole thing was supervised, in case some kids wanted to literally play with fire and throw in school supplies just to see how it melted or, better, exploded.

Hyunjin was sitting on a log next to his friends; Seungmin, Felix and other comrades from their Reading Club. Jisung was there too, but only because he was waiting for his boyfriend, Minho, now in college, to stop chatting with the teachers and give him attention.

“What could they possibly talk about?” Jisung groaned, flopping against Hyunjin as his lips turned downward from all the misfortune he was experiencing. It wasn’t easy to be with a busy college student. “Aren’t I more important than the teachers?” His voice thinned, just like how he shrunk in his place, sad that Minho favored irrelevant adults over him.

“Why are you complaining? Isn’t he sleeping at your place tonight?” Seungmin asked nonchalantly, sharing a stick full of marshmallows with Felix.

“And?” Jisung bit back. “Look around? All those couples sharing sticks while I’m stuck with you guys.”

“What’s wrong with us?” Hyunjin pouted, looking down at where Jisung rested his head on his lap. He took a strand of brown hair and slightly pulled at it. 

It didn’t hurt, and frankly, Jisung was used to this kind of ministrations since Minho used to do the same thing when Jisung was being annoying.  _ You’re cute, but I still want to smack you sometimes _ , was what Minho always said, eyes bored, but not without a tint of affection in his voice.

Jisung missed Minho.

“You’re not my boyfriend, that’s what’s wrong.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes while Felix snorted.

“Then, get off my lap,” Hyunjin said, poking Jisung’s whole face with the tip of his finger.

“No, it’s comfy.” Jisung let him play with his face some more until he heard his friend let out a long sigh. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Hyunjin answered, his eyes averting elsewhere and almost immediately turning back down on the fire.

“Who are you trying to watch here?” Jisung’s mouth curled up. He knew who had all of Hyunjin’s attention, but it was time for him to annoy his friend and entertain himself.

“No one.”

Jisung saw Seungmin’s and Felix’s lopsided grins from his spot as they were half listening to them and half chatting together.

“Let me guess.”

“No. Don’t. Shush.”

“He’s across the park, with his friends from that stupid  _ Vivre libre ou mourir _ club,” Jisung explained anyway in a mocking tone, exaggerating the french accent. Hyunjin shot him a dirty look.

“You are in that club too,” Seungmin pointed out. “And so was Minho.”

“Yeah, well. I’m half in. Minho quit.”

“You’re still dressed like them,” Hyunjin teased, tapping his fingers on Jisung’s belly. “You’re still wearing the club’s t-shirt.”

“The t-shirt is cool, okay?” He defended himself, arms now crossed over his chest.

When he was fourteen, he decided that he didn’t want to be a perfect little boy anymore— no shade to Hyunjin and Seungmin. He didn’t want to look like anyone nor obey like everyone else. He was a kid with a lot in his head, and he didn’t know how to express all the chaos of his thoughts, so he decided to join a club of kids he thought were like him. A french named club, that could also be called: teenage angst club, let us unbutton our school uniforms and tear holes in our ears with the help of needles and ice cubes.

On the outside, the club looked like it was made for troublemakers; on the inside, it was just a regular Art Club in charge of decorating the school when they were celebrating something, and in charge of organizing school activities, just like the bonfire one. That was all. And Jisung didn’t like cutting papers for slogans and hanging up garlands, he didn’t like setting the tables of a class in a certain way and bringing in boxes of snacks. 

However, he liked the boys there; two of them became his best friends and one was now his boyfriend.

The only reason why he called this club stupid was because Chan and Minho weren’t part of it anymore. Besides, Changbin would graduate next year, leaving him alone and bored and pitiful, which meant there was no way he was staying in that club any longer.

“Hyunjin, go talk to him,” Jisung heard Seungmin softly say. “Why are you so shy?”

“He’s with his friends…” Hyunjin trailed, toying with his untouched stick of marshmallows. “They’re scary.”

Jisung snickered.

“They’re not scary. It’s just all looks and attitude. Don’t be fooled by them,” Seungmin said, exchanging a smile with Hyunjin to reassure him. “Come on, Changbin is your friend too.”

“I don’t want to bother him,” Hyunjin replied in a tiny, tiny voice that made him look younger than he was. They were all sixteen but Hyunjin had the confidence of a six years old afraid to fall from their two wheeled bicycle.

“Then, I’m texting him!” Felix announced cheekily, taking out his phone and typing on the keyboard.

Hyunjin’s eyes were round.

“What are you telling him?”

“I’m asking if he can hang out with us.” Felix smiled above his phone, then winked at a blushy Hyunjin. “He says he’ll come in a bit.”

“You know what, that’s a good idea.” Jisung took out his own phone as well and spammed Minho with texts until he received a  _ stop it _ that made him sulk even more. “Why is he so mean to me?” He muttered, texting Changbin to intercept Minho on his way and bring him here with him.

“Tell Changbinnie that Hyunjin is waiting for him,” Seungmin told Felix, his face adorned by a smirk.

“Okay,” Felix replied in English, a pinch of malice in his eyes.

“No way!” Hyunjin tried to grab Felix’s phone across Seungmin, and Seungmin took advantage of it to tickle him. Hyunjin squirmed away, bumping his face against Jisung’s who had lifted his head from his lap. Both boys squeaked in pain and the whole scene made Seungmin laugh.

“Why do I have to suffer from Hyunjin’s pitiful love life too?” Jisung dramatically complained while rubbing his forehead.

“My love life isn’t pitiful!”

“It is, you’ve been pining for a year now. It took me three months to court Minho until he asked me out,” Jisung remarked, smug with a mouth full of a sticky marshmallow.

“We have differents modus operandi.”

“Um— What’s yours, then?”

“Stealth.”

Jisung cackled at that, and Seungmin and Felix snorted, earning a quizzical glare from Hyunjin. What was so funny? He liked to take his time. Certainly, it didn’t take long to befriend Changbin, since he was friendly and open to anyone, even to church boy Hyunjin, but the following months turned into a full year, and Hyunjin always ended up sweating and blushing and shying away when he tried to be flirty with the older.

“That is exactly why you’re still single!”

“I’m not in a hurry,” Hyunjin simply answered. “I’m not horny, unlike you.”

“Liar! I know you want his big d—”

Hyunjin covered Jisung’s rebellious mouth with his hand before he could spill the forbidden word. Hyunjin liked to call it a zigzag, a sword or a flute. Even Seungmin didn’t say the forbidden word, he said  _ genitals _ instead. Jisung, on the other hand, didn’t care; he liked to get reactions from his crude words, though.

“Shut up!”

Jisung’s laughter was muffled by Hyunjin’s palm, his eyes wrinkled and then widened because Minho was there, looking down at him with a grin.

“Whose dick does Hyunjin want?” The older asked in a fake, innocent tone.

Changbin appeared beside him, grinning as well, and Hyunjin let go of Jisung, heat blooming in his cheeks.

“No one,” they had both replied, straightening up on their logs.

“Hey, how’s college?” Felix asked in direction of Minho. “Chan says it’s more fun than high school.”

“Probably because he got a boyfriend now,” Minho explained as he sat next to Jisung on his log while Changbin sat between Hyunjin and Seungmin. 

“He didn’t tell me anything.” Felix slumped against Seungmin, sad and wondering why his friend kept this secret from him.

“Is that why he didn’t come tonight? He’s with him?” Jisung asked, equally as sad as Felix, and Minho nodded, leaning down to peck his mouth. 

“You’re very cute in my t-shirt,” the older whispered. Jisung’s face brightened up; only one friend was missing from their little group, but that was okay, because Minho kept giving him kisses.

In his peripheral view, Hyunjin saw them smooch each other, and his stomach churned in envy. Kissing seemed to be something highly enjoyable and he wanted to kiss Changbin very much, ever since Jisung dragged him in that club to help him cut papers and introduced him to his new, more rebel friends.

Honestly, Hyunjin had felt out of place, because his uniform fell neat on his body while they all untied their ties and accessorized their uniforms like it were christmas trees. Nothing bad about it, it was just really different.

So, Hyunjin had met a very friendly Changbin; a very stylish Changbin and a very flirty Changbin as well. Confident and funny and charming and all that package that made Hyunjin not dwell on the dark shape of his earrings or the mark of razor in his eyebrow. Everything was, in fact, rather attractive.

“You smell like burned wood now,” Changbin told him with a crooked grin.

“Is that a bad thing?” Hyunjin blinked, smelling his shirt, then scrunched his face in disgust. It smelled like charcoal and straw and fire, which was new in his clean, little world full of flowery scent. Changbin always joked that Hyunjin smelled like fabric softener, thus, didn’t have his own  _ human _ scent.

He was just teasing, Hyunjin smelled amazing, but Jisung had told him that Hyunjin worried about every single detail, and that annoying him was his favorite hobby. Changbin couldn’t have agreed more. It was really absurd, trivial yet so fun, especially since Hyunjin blushed a lot and Changbin liked flustering him.

“No, not on you,” the older teased around the marshmallow he had picked from Hyunjin’s stick. “Though, I prefer clean laundry Hyunjin.”

“You smell like tobacco,” Hyunjin retorted, his cheeks filled in air. Changbin wasn’t smoking, but his friends were, and he knew they all had rolled a joint or two behind a few trees.

“I don’t—” Changbin said, bringing the collar of his sweater to his nose.

“What are you? Dogs?” Minho snickered, tapping his stick on top of their heads.

“You can clean all that smell by showering together.” Jisung wiggled his eyebrows as he slipped his hand between Minho leg’s and earned a hard smack on his head as well.

“I wouldn’t mind taking a shower with Hyunjin,” Changbin said, impish and proud and absolutely loving the way Hyunjin’s eyes widened in surprise.

Hyunjin’s cheeks heated up even more. They were  _ that _ close to ask each other out but he still wasn’t entirely ready, considering all the things he had been witnessing and hearing from all the couples around him; gross, intimate things. He was only sixteen. He wasn’t ready to shower with someone yet, he just wanted cuddles and kisses and romantic words.

He knew he could ask Changbin out any time, and that the older would say yes, but the implications of dating scared him a lot. It meant more, and just the thought of it made him drown in timidity. He didn’t even know how to kiss yet… How was he supposed to meet all the other expectations like the tongue and the nudity and what was beyond all of that? He still needed time. 

But he wanted to kiss Changbin so badly already.

Could they kiss without dating? Kids around him were doing it all the time, and he had his ideas already; he was just waiting for the perfect opportunity. It didn’t help that there were so many people around them, and it didn’t help to be friends with two nosy boys who kept on teasing him either.

“Hey, sorry to have said that,” Changbin murmured for only the two of them to hear. “Don’t take it seriously.” His smile was small and sincere, and Hyunjin knew that Changbin wasn’t saying weird things in order to gross him out. He never did. Changbin wasn’t gross, unlike some other boys who tried to court him before, he was far from that.

“You don’t have to apologize for making fun of me.” Hyunjin smiled back.

“Really?” Changbin doubted that it was true because the younger had a tendency to make himself small each time Changbin’s teasing went too far. He was used to a hardcore banter between Minho, Chan and him, and all their friends sharing the same weird humor. Hyunjin may had been tall, but he remained a precious little thing.

“Yes,” Hyunjin nodded, his silky hair swaying from the movement, and Changbin wanted to slide his fingers through it.

Suddenly, a kid called for everyone around the bonfire to play a game.

Truth or dare, as expected. Everyone’s favorite game, because it was safe and dangerous at the same time; because it was also exciting to do forbidden things behind the excuse of dares.

“We’re not playing,” Minho told Jisung before the latter could claim his participation.

“What— Why not?”

“We’re dating.”

“So? I want to take dares!”

“The game is for single people,” Minho calmly explained, wrapping his arm around Jisung’s skinnier frame and mouthing at his ear. “You don’t want to kiss other people, do you?”

“Of course not.” Jisung turned his head to catch his mouth into a kiss before the older could withdraw. “But I like challenges,” he said after biting Minho’s lower lip.

“I challenge you to stay here with me and watch those idiots make fools of themselves.”

Hyunjin, who had been listening, heard Jisung capitulate. Minho was right. The game was deceitful, made for carefree people looking for adrenaline and make outs. Hyunjin hated that game; he hated that game because it meant that Changbin would kiss people who weren’t him. He already witnessed that last year… A very painful experience, if you asked him. Thereby, enduring that atrocity again was out of the question.

“Changbin, you coming?” A kid asked from the other side of the fire.

“Um—”

“C’mon man, it would be fun!” Another insisted, approaching to grab Changbin’s arm and drag him towards the playing area.

He didn’t even look back, and Hyunjin’s heart began thumping, hurt and panicky. The boy he loved stayed popular in their school. Evidently, everyone wanted him to play as well. 

Seungmin and Felix followed suit, and all the teenagers sat in a circle on the grass, laughing and starting the game.

Upset, Hyunjin stood up and walked towards the buffet where snacks and fruit juices patiently waited to be consumed. Hyunjin had helped the Art Club prepare everything, so seeing all the food untouched cast a cloud over his fragile mental state.

He picked candies and chocolate chips, and went back to the bonfire. He sat on the grass, farther than Minho and Jisung to give them more privacy, and started to eat his feelings. Changbin was free, it wasn’t like he owed Hyunjin his time and his patience.

After the first bites though, a shadow abruptly ghosted over him, startling and taking him out of his daydream— he was reeling out the lyrics of the church’s chorale he was part of. Changbin sat beside him, two cartons of juice in his hands. He handed one to a surprised Hyunjin.

“What are you doing?” Hyunjin blinked in confusion. Sure, they were friends, but Changbin had many friends, all livelier and more entertaining than him.

“I prefer your company over theirs,” Changbin simply replied, planting the straw in the box and sipping.

“Didn’t you want to play that game?” He asked innocently as he began to lick the sugar from the sour candy.

“No, I don’t want to play anything with them.” Changbin nudged his side, a grin pulling at his mouth. “Why are you so quiet? Am I intimidating you?” And Hyunjin wondered why he was so easy to read, because Changbin was still a mystery to him; his feelings weren’t a secret anymore, which intensified his timidity. “Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin looked at him, unsure if it was the right time to confess or not, and get over all that neverending pondering, get over the tension between them, get over the unsaid things and get over the wait that was killing him. Wouldn’t it be better to tell him now even if the timing was wrong, than to never tell him at all? Seungmin had always told him that, in case of uncertainty, return to the starting point; the starting point meant that he was still riddled with doubts.

“Would you play a game with me?” He asked despite his nervousness. He had thought about it, a silly game that wouldn’t conclude anything but that would allow him to assert himself.

“Yes, what kind of game is it?” Changbin let go of his teasing tone for a genuinely curious one. He hadn’t expected this, which thickened Hyunjin’s confidence a bit.

“A game that will taste good.” Hyunjin smiled, placing a chocolate chip on his tongue, and swung around to sit face to face with the older. He saw Changbin swallow and stare down at his tongue, which made his stomach churn in anticipation.

Slowly, he leaned forward, his hands sneaking on each side of the other’s hips, palms flat against the grass, and tilted his head. Changbin was sitting cross-legged, unmoving, yet the corners of his lips slightly curled up. They locked eyes, and then, Hyunjin pushed the chocolate in the other’s mouth. Their tongues touched for a few seconds, until Changbin pecked his lips. Hyunjin blushed as a shy smile adorned his face.

“I like this game,” Changbin said, swallowing the chocolate and stealing another kiss from Hyunjin whose cheeks reddened even more. “Is it my turn?”

Hyunjin nodded.

Changbin picked a sour candy, placing it on his tongue, then rested his hands on top of Hyunjin’s thighs. Again, they closed their eyes and their tongues met as Changbin passed the sweet. His hands gripped Hyunjin tighter while the sliding of their tongues ignited a warmth within him.

Hyunjin ate his candy and leaned one more time to peck his lips, replicating Changbin’s actions.

“So, does it taste good?” Hyunjin demanded, smile beaming and pretty.

“Very. I’d love a second round.”

Hyunjin hummed, a candy already between his fingers.

They kept on passing the sweets and chocolate chips like that, their tongues briefly touching before they left chaste kisses on each other’s wet mouths. Hyunjin’s hands moved up Changbin’s torso to wrap his arms around his neck. Their rosy noses brushed more than once, making them part from the cold contact. They didn’t taste each other, but their breaths smelled like lemonade, chocolate and candy.

At some point, they run out of snacks to pass.

“I won the game,” Hyunjin chirped around the straw of his juice, eyes innocent.

Changbin rested against the log, his legs spread out towards the bonfire.

“How so?”

“Because I kissed you, which means that you’re mine now.”

Changbin burst out into laughter, kicking in the air and falling down on the grass. Hyunjin was looking at him with indignation, which made him laugh louder.

“What?” Hyunjin pouted, the box of juice squished between his hands. His confidence slimming down as Changbin made fun of him.

“I’m single. I’m still a free person,” the older singsung beside him. He sat up, smirking. “So, until you ask me out…” He trailed, shrugging and eyeing the area where everyone was still playing truth or dare.

“I half did, sort of,” Hyunjin replied in a small voice. “I kissed you—” He saw Changbin stand up and wave at a his punks of friends across the park. His heart shriveled as his breath got stuck in his throat. But he understood, Changbin was a social butterfly, free spirited and energetic, with many friends and many things to do. “You don’t have to stay with me.”

Changbin looked down at him, the remains of his cheekiness in the corners of his eyes.

“Come with me? I never properly introduced you to my friends.”

“Introduce me as what?” Hyunjin opened his eyes wide, not believing what he was hearing. People like that didn’t merge well with people like him; obedient, neat, polite, teachers’ favorite church boy.

“As my handsome soon-to-be boyfriend?”

Hyunjin shook his head. Last time, they asked if Changbin had to demand for his hand before they could fuck, because that was a hell of a time of patience for a man. Hyunjin had scrunched his nose in disgust while both Changbin and Jisung had snickered beside him. Clearly, they didn’t share the same humor.

“No, thank you. They’re not my style.” He didn’t want to tell Changbin that his friends were complete assholes, because from some, being assholes was the core concept of their club. He was afraid that Changbin would find him unattractive for having such thoughts.

Changbin squatted down in front of him.

“They like you,” the older said, to which Hyunjin arched an eyebrow. “That’s why they tease you so much.”

“Oh, really?”

“Don’t tell them I said that, but they cheer for you when you play soccer.”

“I don’t care. I’m not interested in them.”

“That’s mean. They’re my friends,” Changbin teased, watching Hyunjin’s eyebrows knit. Then, he saw the younger’s eyes widen in panic as he looked over his shoulder. Changbin glanced behind himself, and spotted his friends walk in their direction.

“I’m leaving,” Hyunjin announced, gathering the empty packages of the snacks and the juice boxes.

Changbin frowned.

“Why?” He asked, placing a hand on the younger’s shoulder to still him.

“They stick their noses into our business, I don’t like it. Sorry.”

“Hey, it’s fine.” Hyunjin was a bit different, but that was okay for Changbin, that was what he liked. If he wanted to date someone like himself, he wouldn’t have started this flirting game with Hyunjin. “I’ll see you later. Is that okay?” Hyunjin quietly hummed. “I’m sorry. I’m a very popular student, if not the most.” He shot the younger an apologetic smile.

“I am the most popular,” Hyunjin playfully bit back, smiling up at the older. A difference between how their respective friends reacted to them being together was that Changbin’s friends were prying, carefree, while Hyunjin’s respected his boundaries.

“Yeah, that’s why they love to tease you.”

“They’re still annoying.”

Changbin chuckled and leaned down to peck his lips, then left a kiss on top of his head before meeting his friends. Hyunjin went to throw their snacks in the garbage can next to the buffet. 

After that, he joined Seungmin and Felix who were playing lemonade pong. He hugged Seungmin from behind and rested his chin on top of his friend’s shoulder. Felix was throwing all the little balls in the paper cups with great success.

“Did you two conclude?” Seungmin kindly asked, one of his hands on top of Hyunjin’s, squeezing.

“No, not yet.”

“What’s taking you so long?” There was no malice behind his questions.

“I don’t know… Dating scares me, I guess.”

“I can understand.”

Hyunjin recalled a conversation he had had with Seungmin at the start of the semester: Seungmin didn’t like the concept of dating. He felt too young for all the implications and he felt like it could damage his friendship with Felix. They were good as close friends. Dating meant that all the details suddenly mattered, that they were like birds free from their cages having to mature and grow together in a way typical of couples. And he really felt too young, Hyunjin couldn’t agree more. Both of them didn’t develop a taste of danger, they liked their little cages.

“It’s okay to take our time, right?”

“Yes, it is,” Seungmin replied with another squeeze. He watched Felix score again and make everyone drink orange juice and hold their pee. At the same time, Hyunjin’s breath was tickling his neck, unsteady and fast, like he was overthinking. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just wondering why it is so easy for a lot of people to date each other.”

“Maybe they believe in themselves.”

“And you don’t?” Hyunjin said in surprise.

Seungmin shrugged.

“Not totally. You know I like to be prepared before doing anything.” Hyunjin’s arms tightened around his middle, giving comfort or seeking some, just like when people hugged a tree. “Why aren’t you with Changbin, though? What happened?”

“His friends happened.”

Seungmin chuckled. Changbin’s friends were fun to argue with, the banter could go back and forth without anyone tiring out of it, especially not Seungmin. They weren’t acerbic per se, they just liked confrontation and poking fun at the more sensitive; like Hyunjin.

Hyunjin was their adored target, because he liked Changbin and because he hated all the sexual jokes they threw at him. Even Seungmin could acknowledge the appeal of teasing Hyunjin. He too was a teenager, and like most, he was easily entertained by stupid jokes and grimaces.

“I’m proud that they didn’t manage to scare you away,” Seungmin amusedly told him. Friends were like that; very territorial. He knew that because Jisung was possessive as well, and because he, himself, felt too protective over both Hyunjin and Felix.

“They won’t scare me away. Changbin is mine,” Hyunjin replied softly. He wasn’t the one to back off easily, no matter how tall was the obstacle, no matter his incertitudes.

“Of course, he is.”

Hyunjin’s eyes darted across the park, at where Changbin was animatedly chatting with Minho, Jisung and his friends. Their eyes locked and Changbin’s crooked grin grew wider, he scrunched his nose, his canines showing behind his lips, and winked.

Hyunjin’s heart swole up as he smiled back.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Winter chased autumn away with a blow and Hyunjin fell sick. He had played soccer in short shorts and a simple t-shirt earlier this week, his sneakers wet for hours, and hadn’t eaten properly since he had begun dieting, so his body was too weak to fight the infection. The day after, he fell sick. A simple flu and a bit of fever was all it took to pin him down in bed and make him sleep most of his time.

He had missed two days of school already; too much for his liking.

He hoped Seungmin would drop by and let him copy his homework, as he would be free on Saturdays.

He groaned, it was three in the morning, the room was pitch black, and he was extending his hand out of the warmth of his comforter to find his tissues. His nose was clogged and runny and a trickle blood had started to run down his chin as well.

He blew his nose and then stuffed a nostril with a ripped piece of tissue before falling asleep again. He slept a few hours, until he heard his mother’s knocks on the door.

“Baby, are you awake?” She asked softly as she made her way to the windows and drew the curtains open. Hyunjin whined, hiding under the blanket. “When is Seungmin coming?” She sat on the space beside him and brushed his hair back.

“He told me he was coming a bit after noon.”

“Alright. I made you breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry.”

She gave him a serious look.

“You’re going to eat, whether you’re hungry or not.”

“Mooom, I’m on a diet!”

“Athletes don’t diet, they eat,” she asserted, pinching his nose when he began protesting. He whined, then told her that it was gross because she had mucus on her fingers now. “So what? I made you, nothing about you is gross to me.”

His lips turned into a pout and she leaned down to kiss his forehead.

Together, they went to the kitchen where his father was working on his laptop. They chatted around the breakfast table. His parents would be going out after Seungmin came, which made Hyunjin happy because that meant they could talk about things he didn’t need his parents to hear. He nibbled at his food, his appetite gone since all he did was blow his nose while his head pounded in pain.

He went back to bed, reading yesterday’s chapter of his history class, then dozed off again.

Around noon, knocks on the door woke him up again. He peeked out of his comforter to see his mother in the doorway smiling down at him.

“Baby, your friend is here,” she kindly informed him.

Hyunjin frowned as to why his mother didn’t call Seungmin by his name.

And then he saw Changbin’s frame behind her, his demeanor casual and cool like he just came out from robbing a bank. The whole opposite of Seungmin’s perfect son-in-law attitude, back straight, chin up and hands neatly crossed over his belly. Hyunjin’s stomach churned again from nervousness. He was happy to see the older, but he looked so bad right now, at his most unattractive state.

Hyunjin was sure that he smelled like mucus, his face puffy and his nose red.

Of course, Seungmin didn’t warn him that he sent Changbin to give him his homework. Traitor, Hyunjin mentally chanted, traitor, traitor, traitor.

“Hey,” Changbin greeted as he came in and deposited his school bag at the foot of his bed.

“Hi,” he replied, half of his face hidden under the blanket. He must have sounded funny— his voice hoarse from the flu, because Changbin chuckled, his characteristic crooked grin back on his face.

“How are you doing?” The older asked, sitting on the bed.

“I’m sick.”

“I can see that.” Changbin extended his hand to pull away the blanket from his face, but Hyunjin swatted his hand away in a whine. “Why are you hiding?”

“I’m ugly,” Hyunjin grumbled and turned his face away. “You’re not allowed to see me like that yet.”

“I’ve seen worse,” Changbin teased, removing the blanket from the younger’s face and earning a glower. “You don’t look that bad.” No, he didn’t look bad, he looked cute, even with that offended frown. “Your blushy nose his cute,” he added, pinching the younger’s rosy cheek.

Hyunjin’s mouth curled up in a pleased smile and his hand came out of the comforter to rest on top of Changbin’s thigh.

“You look good in colors,” he told him, taking in Changbin’s regular clothes. He usually wore black, from head to toe, and Hyunjin always found it attractive; he looked cool and unbothered and confident, and comfortable when they were all watching a movie or playing games. Hyunjin could eye the way his legs parted, the way the fabric of his pants hugged his thighs and how his untucked shirt ride up his flat belly when he was stretching.

“I wanted to make a great impression to your parents.”

That was right. He never invited Changbin here, simply because he had no entertainment to offer to any of his friends. His place was good for quiet studying with Seungmin and Felix, but that stopped there. On the other hand, their mutual friends lived in bigger houses and flats, so it was easier to reunite to play, hang out, or do their homework all together.

Hyunjin noticed that Changbin removed all his accessories as well. All the weird symbols expressing his way of thinking were gone; not that his parents cared about how his friends dressed, but it made his heart flutter to know that Changbin wanted his parents’ approval.

“Blue suits you,” Hyunjin softly said, caressing the older’s thigh with his thumb. “You look cute too.”

“Thanks,” Changbin replied. He had put on a blue sweater and blue jeans, nothing special, but Hyunjin seemed to appreciate both his looks and his efforts. “Red looks good on your face,” he told the younger whose lips turned into a pout. He also earned a smack on his thigh. Amused by his reaction, Changbin caught his hand before he could smack a second time. “I don’t think I’m ever going to be tired of you.”

“I could snap back, you never know.”

“I’m sure you can, but you won’t.”

“Maybe I’m just waiting for the right moment.”

“Maybe you’re waiting for us to date before showing your bratty side,” Changbin snickered. Hyunjin averted his eyes, shy and because Changbin had hit the nail on the head. Hyunjin liked to polish his image, especially at school, but he could be as theatrical and annoying as Jisung sometimes. “Anyways, I got stuff for you.”

Hyunjin watched him unzip his backpack and take out a page with Seungmin’s notes as well as some books.

“Did Seungmin send you here?”

“No, I offered to come and bring you what you needed,” Changbin replied, smug. He placed everything on the desk near the bed. Then, he took out snacks, Hyunjin’s favorites: jellies. “I know you’re dieting, but you’re sick so you can make an exception here.”

Hyunjin hungrily eyed the sweets shaped like octopuses, his little weaknesses.

“I guess I can eat one piece.”

Changbin gave him a funny look.

“You’re going to finish the whole pack. I bought this for you.”

“I’m dieting!” He protested, smacking the older’s thigh again. He had read online that sweets were bad for his health, that had to be taken seriously. Besides, most of his older teammates had started to get abs while his belly stayed as flat and soft as ever, he was jealous. Even Jisung and Felix exercised, to say.

“What for? Chan has enough abs for all of us already,” Changbin countered, earning a laugh from his friend.

“I need to be better though,” Hyunjin said in a small voice. He saw the older roll his eyes, so he smacked him again. “Hey!”

“You’re already perfect.”

“Is that what you think?”

“Yes.”

Hyunjin smiled, cheeky and pleased.

“Thank you, Changbinnie. I’ll gladly eat the jellies now,” he said, opening the pack under the older’s suspicious glare and eating one.

“Was all of that to get compliments?” Changbin asked, looking down at a nodding Hyunjin. “Why do you need my validation when you have all the validation in the world?”

“Because you’re my soon-to-be boyfriend,” Hyunjin simply explained like it was the answer to everything. A jelly was trapped in the hollow of his cheek.

“Which means I’m going to see you naked one day, then. Is that right?” Changbin teased, a devilish grin deforming his face. “I cannot wait.”

“Why are you like that?” Hyunjin’s face scrunched at the thought of being naked.

“I’m seventeen, sex is everything to me.” His sarcasm triggered Hyunjin’s laughter.

“I can understand. Jisung talks about his sexual life all the time, he’s always horny and frustrated that he can’t see Minho more often.”

“They gave in to temptation once, there’s no turning back,” Changbin joked, grinning widely and thanking the gods that Hyunjin’s parents weren’t home at the moment.

“Have you?” Hyunjin genuinely asked. He knew that Changbin had dated a girl before, but he didn’t know how far they went. It wasn’t his business even though it secretly piqued his curiosity.

“No, I never went that far…” Changbin looked down at Hyunjin’s hand still resting on top of his thigh. Possessive despite the fact that they were alone. “Have you?”

Hyunjin slightly shook his head. Two years ago, he had shared a few pecks with Felix in the safety of his bedroom, to be sure if they liked boys or not. They did, but not each other.

“I don’t even know how to kiss,” he confessed, his voice small.

“I don’t know much either,” Changbin shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is who you’re kissing.”

“Right,” Hyunjin agreed, mirroring the older’s smile. He eyed the jellies, ideas swirling in his head, before asking, “hey, tell me. What’s your favorite jelly?”

“Um… I like the green ones better.”

Hyunjin gathered all the green jellies in the palm of his hand.

“Would you play a game with me?”

“What kind of game?” Changbin smirked, knowing very well where it was going.

“A tasty game,” Hyunjin repeated what he had said at the bonfire, a tint of mischief sparkling in his eyes. He placed a green jelly on his tongue and waited.

At the sight of the younger’s open mouth, tongue pink and shiny, something warm ignited in the low of Changbin’s belly. He leaned down to catch the sweet, their tongues sliding again together before they chastly kissed.

“Do I get to win this time?” Changbin asked as he made himself more comfortable on top of the blankets, laid down on his side, face to face with Hyunjin who drew his hands back in the warmth of his cocoon.

“The last one to pick the jelly is the winner.”

“Deal. But I still get a bonus from all the germs I get from kissing you, right?” He watched the younger’s face lose its courage. “I don’t mind mucus, though.”

“It wasn’t a good idea,” Hyunjin said, upset at his careless mistake. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I like to think I’m pretty immune to anything.”

That was right, Changbin was the only one never missing classes because he took care of his health better than anyone.

“Are you sure?”

“What can your germs do to me? Make me fall for you even more? See, they’re harmless,” Changbin flirted, his grin never leaving his face.

Hyunjin blushed.

“Fine.” If Changbin was offering himself to him and his virus, he wouldn’t say no. Any excuse to kiss was welcome, even though the conditions weren’t at his advantage.

So, they kept on playing the game until all the green jellies were eaten. Hyunjin blew his nose then, before leaning down and passing a red jelly to Changbin. The older kept him against his mouth by placing his hand on the back of his neck and that was how they kissed, for real, for the first time. A quick, still chaste, sweet tasting kiss.

Eventually, they had to stop because Hyunjin began a coughing fit. Changbin handed him the glass of water placed on his nightstand when the fit stopped.

“I feel bad for not letting you rest,” Changbin said, worried. He was brushing the younger’s hair out of his face by now. “I should go.”

“No, please,” Hyunjin whined, his head floating in the pillow. “I’m cold. Stay with me, please.”

Changbin chuckled, laying down again and looping his arm over the thinner frame trembling under the covers.

“Does Seungmin stay like that with you?”

“Would you be jealous if he did?” Hyunjin giggled, seeking for warmth and pressing his forehead against Changbin’s chest.

“Yes,” the older playfully retorted.

“Well, he does, but we don’t kiss,” Hyunjin simply replied. “He’s just my best friend.”

Changbin hummed, staring at the younger who was intermittently sniffling. His eyes were watery, puffy but still pretty, at least for Changbin’s stolen heart.

“Do you want help with your homework?” He was one year above Hyunjin’s, his last year, so he already studied everything the younger was learning now. 

“You don’t have to,” Hyunjin chuckled, looking up at him. “I’m sure Seungmin gave his homework as well for me to copy. That’s what we always do.”

“Cheaters,” he said, receiving a defensive  _ no it’s called helping!  _ from the other. Of course, he was lying, Chan and Minho left all their essays and homework to him before they graduated. That allowed him to save time and have more fun outside of school. Also, to sleep more. “Seungmin also told me tell that you had to read the first three chapters of the new book before Wednesday.”

“What?” Hyunjin whined. “I hate my club…”

Changbin frowned, confused.

“You hate the Reading Club? The club you’re in since forever?”

“I hate this semester’s books, they’re all philosophical books. At least, last year we could read novels. Romance, science fiction, thriller, anything.”

The clubs were self-managed but the contents had to be approved by a designated teacher. Yet, some clubs were more studious than fun, depending on the teacher. It happened.

“Why don’t you like philosophy? I think it’s interesting.”

“Um…” Hyunjin paused as his brows knitted together, indicating that he was in a reflective frame of mind. “I like to read to escape reality. I don’t want a reminder that humans are complicated megalomaniacs and that the world suck.”

“That’s a way of seeing things,” Changbin laughed, toying with the younger’s hair. “I like that shit, though. Makes you reflect on yourself and have a better critical mind.”

Hyunjin stared at him.

“Great, you can read it for me and make a summary out of it,” he said, mischief twinkling in his black pools of eyes. “Actually, I should make Jisung read half. He loves philosophy too.”

“What do we get in exchange?” Changbin played along.

“Anything.”

“Okay. Let’s see, I want your position at soccer.”

“But… The team would lose without me,” Hyunjin pouted.

Changbin cackled, rolling off the bed and loud. The younger could lack confidence in anything but sports, especially soccer where he was an indispensable asset to the school’s team. In other words, the team couldn’t score as high without Hyunjin. Changbin didn’t understand the world’s obsession about soccer as he was a casual player, but Hyunjin was the highlight of all the games and contests their school took part in.

“That’s correct. How would the world keep spinning without you? I’m wondering.” Changbin exaggerated his dramatic tone on purpose, clearly mocking the younger, whose face showed offense again. He took the book Hyunjin dreaded to read and waved it. “What if I read it to you?”

“Yes!” The younger chirped. “I’d love that.” He shifted to sit against the headboard, pillows squished behind his back, and made space for Changbin next to him. Then, he thought. It was Saturday, the older had probably better things to do. “Is it okay for you?”

“I wouldn’t have come if I had something planned,” Changbin kindly replied as he made himself comfortable again and read the title of the book. “I’ll benefit from reading, you know. Better diction, better spelling, learning new words. All that stuff.”

“Do you really care?” Hyunjin demanded, playful and eyeing him with his eyelashes fluttering like wings.

“No,” Changbin admitted, smile roguish and cool. “I just want to spend time with you.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The cafeteria was loud, some students moving like swarms here and there, others seated, eating and talking or doing their last minute homework. It was noon, Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix and Seungmin were discussing about their group work for their English class.

“Which country should we cover?” Seungmin asked as he opened his lunch box. They had to pick a country and to present as many highlights as there were students in the group. 

Seungmin didn’t want to pick a country everyone already knew, like theirs or the ones close to theirs. It was too easy, the real challenge was to make a presentation about a culture that was completely foreign to them.

“Latin america?” Jisung suggested, peeling his banana. “We could talk about the damage of the 2014 world cup in Brazil.”

“Good idea,” Felix said around the straw of his orange juice. “The folklore seems to be rich in history.”

“Okay, what about you, Hyunjin?” Seungmin’s eyes rested on his uncharacteristically silent friend.

Hyunjin, who was slumped against Jisung and looking for the boy of his dreams across the cafeteria, hummed as a response.

“Don’t tell us you’re okay with anything,” Jisung warned him, waving his banana towards Hyunjin’s face to get him out of his reverie. “No Changbin during work time!”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, annoyed. It wasn’t like Jisung had a history of keeping it quiet about his  _ sexy boyfriend _ Minho.

“I’m okay with anything you guys choose,” he let out a sigh, purposely turning away from Jisung who groaned and threw his banana peel on his side of the table. “Hey—!”

“Teamwork! Does it ring any bells to you?”

“Give me time to think!”

“Of course, with your slow brain—”

And Hyunjin put his palm over Jisung’s mouth again. Their eyes met for a brief moment as they took in each other’s funny faces; Jisung’s cheeks deformed by the hand and his crinkled eyes versus Hyunjin’s nose scrunched in a somewhat serious attempt to show anger as his lips were pinched into a weird pout. So, Jisung burst out into laughter against the palm and Hyunjin’s mouth curled up.

“You are both hopeless,” Seungmin commented in a false nonchalance.

Everything went back to normal.

“I’d like to study a northern country,” Hyunjin finally spoke. “Changbin is watching that TV show about vikings. He even is collecting tankards. I don’t know, the north looks unique.”

“Okay, noted. I like that. What about you Felix?”

“I like both…” Felix trailed, giving Seungmin an apologetic smile. “I am really fine with anything. I think every culture is worth a shot.”

Seungmin smiled despite feeling like none of them really helped further the first step of the group work.

“I guess I’m going to be one to take the final decision,” he said, not surprised at all by the outcome of their conversation. It always went like this: Jisung would suggest something because he had all the ideas already, then Hyunjin would rebound, positively or not, Felix would wait for Seungmin to give his opinion unless he was requested first, and then they would go round and round in circles because they liked to debate, leaving Seungmin to close the topic. “Let’s work on Brazil, then.”

“Yes!” Jisung exclaimed, wiggling his eyebrows towards Hyunjin to taunt him. “I have the best ideas.”

Hyunjin didn’t react, especially not since Jisung was holding onto him and looking for his affection all day. It was called the  _ shortage of boyfriend _ effect: cuddling his friends to fill the emptiness in his heart. Effective, but not better than receiving affection from Minho himself.

Instead, Hyunjin scanned the area looking for an unbuttoned school uniform with the tie hanging low and the hem floating out of the pants. Jisung, Felix and Seungmin were pushed in a corner of his mind when he found Changbin laughing with his friends six tables further away.

Instinctively, a smile appeared on his own face, and he found himself stare, his heart swelling and skipping beats because it felt like a tiny, young bird trying to land on a small surface.

He wanted to spend time alone with Changbin again. His lips had felt really cold recently, and he had to admit that hugging his friends wasn’t the same as hugging the one he was in love with. Both embraces felt comforting and warmed him, but friendship and love manifested two kinds of longing. He just wanted to squish himself against Changbin all the time and forever and kiss him.

He needed to kiss him.

He needed a new pretext.

And then, he needed to be sure that it was what he wanted until he threw himself whole out of the safety of his bird cage.

They had to hang out again. Preferably not at his place, since his parents were there and ordered him to let his door open when he had friends around. Upsetting, however he wasn’t one to disobey.

He could text Changbin, ask him to see him after classes tomorrow, but he didn’t like the way that guy was touching him and how close that girl was to his face. Hyunjin’s stomach churned weirdly, his appetit lost and his brows knitting for the first time today. He knew he had no reason to feel jealous, but it wasn’t fair how they all had hands on his future boyfriend when he didn’t.

That being said, even if they were dating, it wasn’t like they could be all over each other anyway. The school had rules.

He flopped against Jisung, his head rubbing against his friend’s, and let out a whine. He couldn’t wait for the day to end, so he could finally intercept Changbin after classes and ask him to hang out tomorrow.

Later, when the sun set and the darkness of winter welcomed them outside, Hyunjin hurried to tidy up his things and catch Changbin in the hallway. Luckily, juniors and seniors shared the same floors, thus making it easy for everyone to befriend and know each other. He found Changbin pretty easily, his school backpack was decorated by colorful pins— bands, pop culture characters or other symbols, and his baseball cap hung from the strap.

He wasn’t alone, but that didn’t discourage Hyunjin.

“Changbinnie,” he called, walking over the group of seniors who all looked at him in unison. A lot of eyes, a lot, watching him curiously. Hyunjin was kinda used to it, because of soccer and because he was told that he was pretty, but right now, it made him feel like a small insect. “Hi,” he still greeted them. They were Changbin’s friends, after all.

They nodded and Changbin pivoted on his feet to face him.

“Yo, what’s up?”

He was happy to see him, Hyunjin could tell by the size of his smile and the crease of his eyes.

“Um...” Hyunjin briefly paused, gathering his courage to ask him out— well, sort of, in front of everyone. He tightened the hold he had on his books resting flat against his chest, positive that his fingers had turned white, and asked, “are you free tomorrow after school?”

“Yes, I am. Why?”

“Can we hang out? Just the two of us.”

“Sure,” Changbin agreed as he grinned wider. “Preferably at my place, I suppose?”

He had one hand in his pocket, the other holding the strap around his shoulder by a hook of his thumb, and Hyunjin found his demeanor very cool. He nodded, cheeks rosy and heart beating in its familiar flutter.

“If it’s okay for you?”

“It is. Are we playing a game again?”

Hyunjin blushed, suddenly nervous that the older was revealing their game in broad daylight.

“What game?” One of his friends asked, tone teasing and content to jump on the opportunity to annoy Hyunjin. “Adult games?”

“Yes,” Changbin said, amused.

“No!” Hyunjin retorted, fulminating. They were having their fun at his expense, but that wasn’t happening today. He looked back at Changbin. “I’ll text you.” And he left after the older’s nod of agreement.

With his scarf wrapped tight and warm around his neck, Hyunjin got out of the school in the direction of the nearest bus stop where he knew Jisung, Felix and Seungmin were waiting. They were seated on a stone border along other kids, so Hyunjin flopped on top of Jisung’s lap.

“How did it go?” Jisung asked as he wrapped his arms around Hyunjin’s waist. “What did he say? If he said no, I’ll steal all his tankards and make it a business.”

Felix giggled.

“He said yes, obviously,” Hyunjin replied, proud as a beaming smile adorned his face.

“What are you two going to do?” Seungmin asked, genuinely interested. They used to all hang out together, in groups of at least three. Being two alone in a room almost never happened. Sure, he had been alone in a room, in a  _ bed _ , with Hyunjin since they were five, but they weren’t potential lovers to each other. On the other hand, Jisung had been alone in a room with Minho which resulted to them dating. Felix had been alone with a girl last year, and a lot of kissing had happened— Seungmin wasn’t aware of his feelings at the time. 

Thereby, Hyunjin wanted to be alone with Changbin in order to claim him, whatever that meant.

“Sharing candies,” Hyunjin innocently replied.

“Again?” Felix exclaimed. “I should try that game too!”

“You should,” Hyunjin smirked, eyeing Seungmin who just averted his eyes, elusive but not shy.

“Why don’t you just ask him out?” Jisung let out in frustration. “It’s tiiime!”

“We’re not having this conversation again,” Hyunjin groaned, turning to lightly pinch his cheek. “You’re just bored.”

“Fiiine.”

The next day, Hyunjin kept his focus on his lessons. All his thoughts about Changbin were tidied in a corner of his mind, neat and imperturbable. But then, the end of classes neared and he found his heart pulsate in anticipation. He left his three favorite friends after saying them goodbye and them telling him not to throw himself into something he didn’t understand yet. A good advice, but Hyunjin always followed through with his ideas, and more importantly, he trusted Changbin.

It was snowing, a bit windy and cold, but Hyunjin didn’t mind waiting outside, especially since the dark sky looked pretty with all the flakes falling down on top of his head. He was excited, jittery and the thoughts were back flying within his head like a flock of birds.

“Hyunjin!” He heard the older call as he got out of the school. He was wearing a black, fluffy coat and his usual baseball cap, equally black. “Sorry for taking long, I was talking to a teacher.”

“It is fine.”

“I’m worried that you will catch a cold again.”

Hyunjin frowned. 

He looked cute, Changbin thought.

“I am not that weak!”

Changbin knew that, but he liked to annoy the younger.

“It’s okay. I’ll keep you warm,” he flirted, extending his hand towards a blushy Hyunjin. “Let’s go!”

They walked holding hands towards the bus stop, then sat side by side during the ride and talked about their day. They let go of their hold once they arrived at Changbin’s place. A small but fancy house with a garden and a few pets; a cat Minho introduced to his family and that they adopted because it needed a home; a couple of turtles in Changbin’s bedroom and an aquarium owned by his older sister.

Changbin grabbed two juice boxes before they locked themselves in his bedroom. They got rid of their backpacks, now only in school uniforms and socks, and crouched over the aquarium to feed the turtles.

Changbin took good care of his two little buddies, as he liked to call his pets. The large aquarium looked like an island with the best accessories for the best turtles: Spear and Bludgeon— excellent choice of names, according to Chan and Jisung.

“They look so peaceful,” Hyunjin softly said as he rubbed the tip of his finger against their shells. “Do they make any noise when you’re sleeping?” He had never asked, even though he came here a lot, but he was genuinely curious.

“I just hear them dig or enter the water at night when I study.” Changbin smiled, thumbing at his turtles with affection. “They are good company.” 

Hyunjin hummed in response. Changbin went to sit on his bed, watching the younger who in turn was watching the turtles go for a swim. “So… What is the game we’re going to play? I don’t see any candies.”

“There won’t be candies.”

“What are we doing, then?”

“Teach each other how to kiss,” Hyunjin answered, tone innocent.

Changbin grinned.

“I can teach you what I know.” He didn’t know much, he made out with a girl without the tongue before. His knowledge stopped there, yet his instincts told him that it wouldn’t be that difficult to add the tongue. They had trained with candies, after all. “But what do  _ you _ know?”

Hyunjin crawled over towards him, placing his hands flat against the bed, on each side of Changbin. He was kneeling on the soft rug, his beautiful eyes looking up at him.

“I can surprise you,” he said, voice soft yet unwavering. “Are you in?”

“Yes,” Changbin let out, his breath short and every inch of his body warming in anticipation. “I’m in.”

Hyunjin lips curled up, showing two rows of white teeth, then he slowly leaned up until their mouths were centimeters away from one another. It smelled like the apple juice they had been drinking earlier; they hoped the kiss would taste as sweet.

Finally, Hyunjin pressed their lips together. 

Changbin cupped his cheeks, and they kissed, slow, sweet and still chaste. They broke apart when Hyunjin smiled during the kiss and spread his happiness to Changbin who smiled as well against his mouth.

“I think we’re good for the simple kiss,” Changbin murmured. “We should level up.”

Hyunjin climbed on the bed. They were facing each other, their knees touching and hands laying limp on the bed, not knowing what to do with them now that the kissing paused.

“It’s your turn,” Hyunjin softly prompted as he licked his lips. There was no sound apart from the small noises made by the turtles. It was weird, like he was deaf, with only the sound of his own body. His heartbeats, his saliva running down his throat, his breathing.

Changbin leaned, pecking him once, then kissing him. Their hands moved again to cup each other’s face or neck; touching felt good, their skin was warm and it just made them yearn for more. The kiss was careful, a bit clumsy, but felt amazing nonetheless. Changbin was right, what mattered was who they were kissing, not how.

Out of breath, they parted, their hands sliding down each other’s chests and meeting in the middle of their legs in a hold.

“Is it okay if we try with tongue?” Changbin demanded, not exactly shy, but it was his first time voicing his desires out loud. His first time telling Hyunjin what he wanted.

Hyunjin nodded.

“It’s my turn. Can I— I want to try something?” He spoke, uncertain. “Before… you know.” 

He blushed, averting his eyes, so Changbin squeezed his hands in reassurance.

“Anything you want. Really, I’m okay with anything.”

“Close your eyes.”

Changbin did, all he was hearing was the younger shifting on his bed, his breathing and his own heartbeats. He felt Hyunjin’s breath ghost over his face, over his lips, warm and soft, then something wet caressed his lips. Tickling. 

Hyunjin was slowly, tentatively licking his mouth.

And then, the cold hit the wetness of his lips as Hyunjin pulled away.

He opened his eyes to see the younger’s slight blush.

“How was it?” Hyunjin demanded, shy and cute.

“I can’t describe it... It felt amazing.” The throb of his heart had accelerated at the soft feeling, having Hyunjin so close while he could only hear and feel him was overwhelming to the point he felt like he was on top of a cloud, with silence and all his feelings swirling around his head like little birds.

“Do you want to try too?”

“Off course, it’s my turn now,” Changbin said, tone kittenish. “Close your eyes.”

As Hyunjin’s eyes fluttered shut, Changbin realized how much trust they put in each other. The younger was sitting there, vulnerable and waiting, like Changbin had the power to do anything to him, like he was offering himself in a way only triggered by love.

Changbin peeked his tongue out, close to Hyunjin’s pink, plump lips he always stared at when he was talking, and slowing licked. He reached the middle of his mouth, until Hyunjin let out a giggle and pulled away.

“It tickles,” he informed him, his face deformed by the giggle.

Changbin smiled, equally amused. He felt light, content, happy to share this moment with the boy of his dreams.

“I’m not finished, though,” Changbin playfully retorted. 

Hyunjin stayed still, closing his eyes again, and Changbin leaned in again to lick his lips, from one corner to another. Once they were done, they stared at each other in silence. And before Changbin could ask what was the next level, Hyunjin wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him. His own arms looped around the younger’s narrow waist, bringing him closer against his chest and chasing the cold away for an awaited warmth.

They were kissing each other in a close embrace, their tongues sliding against one another from time to time, until their uncertainty left its place for hunger. The kisses lasted longer, grew wetter, with bites and sores lips. They were laying down on the bed sheets, legs tangled and cheeks flushed and burning. Hands grabbing and pulling and touching.

Eventually, when they ran out of air, they took a break. They looked at each other with new eyes, leaving pecks on their noses and cheeks and temples instead.

“You’re so pretty,” Changbin said as he observed the younger; the shimmering of his skin covered by sweat, the slope of his waist and the curve of his butt. He couldn’t take his hand off of him, not knowing where to lay them. “Seriously, you’re so pretty.”

Hyunjin shook his head, not in refusal but because he was humble and didn’t know how to take compliments yet. It always made him shy.

“Thank you… I think you’re hot,” he blurted out, suddenly serious. “Don’t try to bring you down. This is what I think.” 

He didn’t want to elaborate though, how was he supposed to politely say that he was eating the other with his eyes? Hyunjin wasn’t the type to eye other kids’ bodies, but he did take glances at Changbin’s legs and butt and arms and chest and face and everywhere, really, more than once.

“Oh, but that’s the thing, I do agree that I’m hot.” Changbin smirked.

“So confident,” Hyunjin said, giggly.

He leaned to steal a quick kiss. Changbin cupped his face and kissed him in return.

So, they were making out again, although slower.

After a while, Changbin strayed on Hyunjin’s neck, leaving soft pecks and rubbing his nose against the warm skin.

“You smell so good,” he whispered in the crook below his ear. “Your human scent, I love it.”

Hyunjin hummed, eyes closed. He felt dizzy, Changbin’s nibble at his neck made him feel like a marshmallow. Their bodies were pressed close, keeping each other warm and somehow safe. He hadn’t felt that happy in so long.

“What do I smell like?”

“You, and your soap? Smells good.”

Changbin’s kisses were like wings flapping along the length of his neck. 

Then, Hyunjin felt fingers toying at his tie and at the first button of his uniform. Panic filled in his body like liquid fire, his tie had loosened, two buttons were already undone, and Changbin kept kissing lower and lower.

At the third button, he stiffened.

Upon realization, Changbin stopped.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, worried. He rolled off him, leaning on his elbow, attentive. “I’m sorry if I went too far. I should have asked.”

Hyunjin wondered if Changbin still wanted him after witnessing his insecurity. 

He had ruined their moment.

“It’s okay, you couldn’t have known,” he reassured the older. In all honesty, if he had felt in danger, he would have pushed him away, but that wasn’t the case. He trusted Changbin, he was safe, nothing bad could happen to him, but he wasn’t ready for  _ that _ yet, despite not being able to define it. “I’m sorry, though. I liked what you were doing. I’m sorry,” he repeated, reaching to grab the hem Changbin’s shirt, unsure of the outcome of this situation.

“Hyunjin,” Changbin started, eyes soft. “I like you so much.” He leaned down to peck his forehead. “I acted on impulse, but I wasn’t going to… You know. But you are allowed to hit me, I—”

Hyunjin silenced him by kissing him, smiling against his lips.

“Hey, I know what you mean,” he kindly informed him. “I like you a lot too.”

“You’re not going to dump me, right?”

“Why would I do that?” Hyunjin frowned.

“I acted like an asshole,” Changbin retorted. Not knowing if he was being serious or not, Hyunjin pouted. So, Changbin left a peck on his scrunched nose, and then on his pouty lips. “I’m lucky you didn’t punch me in the face,” he said, playful yet knowing very well that if it had been anyone else trying to undress him, Hyunjin would have thrown hands at some point.

“You’re mine,” Hyunjin simply stated. The answer to everything, once again.

“You’re mine too,” Changbin responded, earning a peck on his cheek.

At that very moment, they heard the front door slam. Changbin’s parents were home, his sister too. They went downstairs to greet them and chat. Changbin’s mother insisted for Hyunjin to eat supper with them. She loved Hyunjin— all his family did, he was well mannered and obedient, handsome and athletic, diligent and a positive influence over Changbin, according to his sister. The perfect son; though it was more like the perfect boyfriend in Changbin’s eyes.

They had known him for two years now, but that was enough to make Hyunjin feel welcome and loved each time.

They ate together and then played board games. Changbin lost every time, to everyone’s amusement. And then it was time for Hyunjin to go home, so his father gave him a ride, and Changbin pecked Hyunjin’s cheek in the entrance hall of the building where he lived.

“Is it still a game?” Changbin asked before leaving. It was cold and his voice resonated against the walls.

Hyunjin shook his head, his hair shiny under the light and soft.

“Not anymore.”

He smiled, and leant down to kiss Changbin on the lips.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Here,” Minho said as he handed Changbin and Jisung their drinks and sat next to the latter on the bleachers.

It was Friday evening. They were watching their school’s soccer team against another school’s team. A friendly game, nothing more, but everyone— students, families, trainers were excited and cheering loudly. Seungmin, in charge of covering the event with other peers, was taking pictures of the game, especially of his best friend. Felix assisted him, even though he wasn’t doing anything except hold their drinks— warm chocolate, and yell Hyunjin’s name from time to time.

It had snowed earlier, a lot of players missed to slip a few times since the kick off, but the cold weather didn’t bother anyone as the enthusiasm and drinks kept them warm. Changbin had his eyes only on Hyunjin who was focused and fast. He had less interest in the game than in the handsome striker running at the speed of an arrow across the field. 

“I should have been in that team too,” Jisung exhaled nonchalantly. “I’m a better runner than Hyunjin. It’s a fact.”

Changbin rolled his eyes.

“Then, why did you leave the team?” Minho asked in a flat voice.

“Because the coach told me I had to play in defense or stay on the sidelines…”

“And then?”

“I got mad and left.” Jisung sighed in resignation. “But I’m faster than him at ice skating!”

Minho took his cold hand and intertwined their fingers.

“Shouldn’t you be happy for your friend? Jealousy doesn’t get you anywhere,” he told him calmly. He knew what was happening in a sixteen years old’s head, he had been there too, though he never envied anyone. But Jisung had this cocky, overconfident side that Minho liked and found as amusing as it was irritating, and he also had a temper; nothing too bad, of course. He was just like an angry little chipmunk, thoughts too wild and no filter between his brain and his mouth.

“I’m not saying that I should be in his place, but I wish I was running alongside him.” Jisung was having a sulk now. “I miss playing with Hyunjin.”

“Aww,” Minho cooed, squeezing his hand. “You’re so cute.”

“Hyunjin is still a better runner,” Changbin said beside them, half teasing half serious. He was about to elaborate until he heard shouts and looked back on the field to see Hyunjin dribble around his opponents. “He’s going to score!” He exclaimed as he got up and started chanting Hyunjin’s name just like everyone else in the tribune.

Minho and Jisung took part of the cheering and Hyunjin scored a goal. They all jumped up and down and shouted for joy louder because it was the goal that made them win right before the endgame.

Changbin watched Hyunjin dash towards his teammates to rejoice in a pile of hugs and happy boys. Maybe Changbin decided he liked soccer if it meant he could see Hyunjin’s satisfied grins or focused frowns; if it meant he could look at his long bare legs in those shorts and at his sweaty hair pushed back. 

It wasn’t his first time coming to a game, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. 

The three of them rushed to the field where everyone was stirring together, both parents and their kids. They spotted Seungmin and Felix animatedly chatting with a very wet Hyunjin.

“Good job. But you look gross,” Minho told him, biting off his smirk. Hyunjin trapped him in his arms in response and Minho didn’t even fight back. “Get your sweaty ass off me. I’m going to count to three. One, two… ”

Hyunjin let go after cupping Minho’s face and smearing sweat everywhere. The latter stayed still, then turned to his boyfriend whose disgusted grin indicated:  _ we’re not kissing until you wash your face. _

“So, how was the game? Was it fun?” Hyunjin chirped. He was fidgety, still high from the game as the adrenaline slowly came down. But before anyone could reply, he threw himself into Changbin and hugged him. “How was I?”

“Amazing,” Changbin said, his face squished against Hyunjin’s neck. His skin was burning, though his sweat and clothes felt very cold under his palms. “You’re going to get sick.” He told the younger, hugging him back to keep him warm between his arms.

“Hyunjin, our parents are there,” Felix warned, making everyone shift to a safe distance from each other. No ambiguous touches despite the fact that they were tactile amongst themselves wasn’t really a secret.

“We’re still seeing each other tomorrow, right?” Jisung demanded, bouncing on his feet to shake off the cold.

“Too bad Chan won’t be able to come,” Felix said sadly.

Seungmin squeezed his shoulder, knowing how much his friend missed Chan. They all did, and Jisung felt twice happier that Minho chose to spend lot of his free days with him.

Hyunjin, taken by shivers, turned to Changbin.

“I’m going back to the locker room. Wait for me, please?”

“I will,” Changbin smiled.

Hyunjin smiled back and left.

“So, are you two finally together?” Minho asked in direction of Changbin, arching an eyebrow and quite disappointed that he still didn’t know what was going on between his best friend and Hyunjin.

“Sort of,” Changbin shrugged, his hands in his pants’ pockets. They hadn’t exactly asked each other out, but did they have to? Their feelings were real and mutual, there were kisses and touches, and the way Hyunjin was looking at him felt like nothing else mattered. Besides, Hyunjin claimed him on many occasions— each time they spend time together in fact, and Changbin never thought about seeing someone else. Thereby, they were together. Yet, he knew that Hyunjin needed to say things out loud, just to be at peace with himself. “I mean, yes, we are.”

“I knew it,” Seungmin bragged. It was cute coming from him. “Hyunjin tells me everything.”

“Well, I hope he doesn’t tell you everything,” Changbin said, not wanting anyone to find out the size of his dick, among many examples. If Seungmin knew, that meant that Jisung would know as well, there was no way Changbin would risk that. There was a sort of rivalry between the other boy and him; dick talks shouldn’t be part of it.

“What do you mean?” Minho teased, his smirk now huge on his face. “I tell you everything. You know what Jisung’s dick look like.”

“He— What!” Jisung opened his mouth wide open. Then, he pointed his finger towards Changbin. “I require a ruler!”

“What for?” Changbin asked, cocky. “To measure your little peanut?”

Seungmin’s face was deformed by disgust whereas Felix laughed, earning a glare from Jisung who asked him if he wanted to compare too.

“God, I love teenagers,” Minho said, sipping on his not so warm chocolate and watching his friends argue about dicks. That was fun.

“You’re only eighteen,” Seungmin pointed out. “And you brought the genitals subject yourself.”

“The, what? I didn’t hear anything.” Minho blinked in false innocence.

“Dick,” Seungmin simply answered, grinning at him, proud. “You’re the worst of us.”

At some point, they all joined their parents, except for Changbin who went back into the school facility and waited for Hyunjin in the entrance. Players, now in regular winter clothes, came out of the locker room, meeting their parents and leaving. Changbin could hear the hair dryers among the hustle and bustle of the place. He chatted with a few kids waiting for their friends or for their siblings, then saw Hyunjin come out with his sports bag hooked around his shoulder.

His hair was slightly wet and his face showed signs of fatigue, but he looked as pretty as ever for Changbin.

“You waited,” Hyunjin let out with a beaming smile.

If Changbin had been told that he could make Hyunjin smile so wide, he would never have believed it. He knew he was naive, that he was a simple child with a lot of overwhelming feelings, but he hoped Hyunjin’s smile would last throughout their life.

“Why does it surprise you?” Changbin teased, grinning as well. “Like I’d ever ditch you.”

Hyunjin hummed in contentment. He shouldn’t doubt Changbin’s loyalty, but he couldn’t turn off the remains of insecurity in the back of his mind.

“I wanted to tell you something,” he said, expression more serious. “I made my decision.” 

The adrenaline of the game helped him push his confidence. If he wanted to score a goal, he couldn’t wait for the ball to come at him, he had to get it himself. It was the same in life, if he wanted to be with Changbin, he had to stop thinking, stop this little fear from scaring him away, and get what,  _ who _ , made him happy, himself.

“I’m all ears.” Changbin tried to tone down his grin. With the tumult around and the yellow lamps above them burning their eyes, he knew that Hyunjin was finally ready; his overthinking was over. He was about to put his actions into words, to make everything somehow realer. An important process, Changbin was aware of that ever since they met.

“Would you be my boyfriend?” Hyunjin asked in a hushed voice, soft and cute and innocent, and everything Changbin loved about him.

“Yes!” Changbin answered cheerfully. They were in public, so he only extended his hand to grab Hyunjin’s and squeeze, tight and warm. “Can’t believe I’m dating the prince of the school!” He wanted to shout, but knew better than to alert the adults around.

Hyunjin chuckled as a slight blush spread beneath his cheeks.

“You make it sound like you won the lottery or something.”

“Don’t you feel like that?” Changbin asked playfully.

“I feeI like I won a game again,” Hyunjin whispered, smiling. “The most important game.”

“If you ever want to score me…” Changbin trailed, heart warm and still loving the way Hyunjin’s face scrunched at his stupid joke.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” the younger said, not as offended anymore. 

Most boys shared the same humor, especially the ones from the Art Club— girls included, they all had big mouths and insolence because they were confident and believed in themselves, and because they were swimming against the tide. Hyunjin fell in love with Changbin knowing all of that. Besides, without his dirty jokes, Hyunjin would have never got the hint that Changbin was into him. Thus, leaving Hyunjin pin in silence and misery. 

He still remembered the time Changbin had commented on the lollipop Hyunjin was sucking, saying how pretty it looked between his lips. Inappropriate? Yes. Funny? Yes, according to everyone except Seungmin who had been as grossed out as Hyunjin. Flattering? Sort of, it had been the first time Changbin made a dirty joke; a huge indication of his attraction. 

“I have to go, my parents are waiting. We’re seeing each other tomorrow, right?” 

They all agreed to go ice skating tomorrow afternoon.

“Right,” Changbin confirmed. 

Hyunjin briefly glanced around the now emptier room, and then leaned down to leave a quick kiss on his cheek. 

Together, they made their way out. Hyunjin’s parents were outside, chatting with another couple. They ended their conversation when they saw their son, and Changbin told Hyunjin a  _ see you tomorrow _ before going his way.

It was a tradition for them to eat out at a restaurant after a game, whether Hyunjin’s team won or not. 

During the ride, his parents were quieter than usual. They did praise him, yes, but the atmosphere felt weird, charged with something tickling Hyunjin’s instincts in the wrong way. Maybe they got some bad news, but didn’t want to ruin Hyunjin’s joy? He was too afraid to ask; he was also too afraid to show his discomfort.

He texted his friends instead. He texted Changbin who was hanging out with Minho and Jisung at the latter’s place. They sent him pictures of their food and of their silly faces, which made him smile.

“Baby,” his mother called. She looked at him through the rear-view mirror. “Was the boy with you earlier the same one who brought your homework a few weeks ago?”

Her face didn’t show any sign of anger.

“Yes, why?”

“He just looked different from that time,” she explained.

True, she met a Seungmin-looking Changbin, not a real Changbin; not his looks, all dark and cool, and not his attitude, cocky with a strong aura. He loved both, Changbin was a good person, but his looks could mislead people into thinking that he was troublesome.

“Ah, yes. He just likes to try different styles,” Hyunjin said, turning off his phone. He was in the middle of a funny text with Felix, but he didn’t want to laugh anymore. “He’s very kind,” he added, feeling the urge to defend his boyfriend despite the fact that she didn’t say anything negative.

“He must be, if he helped you with homework,” she answered in a gentle voice.

“What’s his name?” His father asked, eyes focused on the road as he was entering the parking lot.

“Changbin. He’s one year older than me,” Hyunjin told them, careful of his choice of words. “He owns two pet turtles, and he’s good at everything. In fact, he is first in his class.”

His parents hummed in acknowledgment.

They parked, then went to a Korean restaurant. 

Inside, the waitress took them to their booked table. 

It was still early, around eight in the evening, so there weren’t many people yet. They quickly ordered their meals, and chatted about the upcoming week for the meantime. Taking their dog to the vet, preparing their home for Christmas, listing their appointments for work, choosing a date for the Christmas market, and so on. Usual family talk— without the gossip though, because his parents weren’t the type to talk about irrelevant things. 

They were quiet people, choosing tranquility and peace of mind instead. The main reason was because they worked a lot and wanted to spend time resting, both physically and mentally. They already had enough activities by taking care of Hyunjin’s and encouraging him to do everything he wanted: sports, various intellectual contests or going out with his friends.

Once the food arrived, his parents cut the meat for him and filled up his plate each time they saw an empty, white space. They treated him the way they always did; gentle and attentive, maybe too much, to the point he thought he had imagined the strange atmosphere in the car.

Until his mother spoke.

“Hyunjin, don’t you have something to tell us?”

The gentleness of her voice hid some bitterness beneath, he could tell.

He froze, chopsticks flat against his plate, and stared at the piece of salad in the middle of it. He could still hear them breathe as his anxiety pushed all the restaurant’s noises to the background. His father was still quietly eating, not looking at them, while his mother had stopped her movements to watch him.

“Um— What do you mean. Mom?” He glanced at her, then at his father who had put down his chopsticks and crossed his arms over the table. Their eyes met, scaring Hyunjin who looked down again.

“We saw you,” she simply answered. “With that kid, Changbin.”

At the mention of Changbin, his heart started to panic. His pulse raced in terror as innumerable thoughts raced through his mind in a confusing jumble. They knew. He hadn’t planned that, he didn’t want adults to know, let alone his parents. Kids his age did things that only them could see. Once their secrets were discovered, it was over. Besides, a precious secret like his own should be shared only with his closest, most loyal friends.

He did trust his parents, but he wasn’t entirely sure of their reaction. He knew his sexuality was wrong, he didn’t know how nor why, he hadn’t been raised to have this answer, but he knew. 

Above all, he was scared to fail them, that they wouldn’t be proud of him or love him anymore.

“Did I disappoint you?” He let out in a tiny voice, stiff but trembling at the same time. “Did you stop loving me?” Smalls tears were gathering in the corner of his eyes. It was a matter of time until they shed down along his cheeks.

“Baby, of course not. You’re the apple of my eye,” his mother kindly told him. When she wrapped her arms around him and kissed the top of his head, he started crying. “I’ll love you no matter what.” She whipped his tears with her thumbs and kissed his cheek this time.

“For real?” He sniffed, the fear still there and devouring his senses. 

“Yes, for real,” she kindly told him. “I was simply surprised. You’re my baby, okay?”

He nodded, half reassured while the other half remained afraid of his father’s reaction. The latter had kept silent the whole exchange, watching them impassively. 

If the man had a different opinion, Hyunjin believed that his mother would side with him and not with his father, which meant that she would be hurt as well. Hyunjin hoped he wouldn’t be the reason of their separation and her heartbreak.

“Dad?” He asked, small like he was his five years old self scared to anger his father.

“Dad?” She repeated, warning in her tone. Her serious eyes were locked with her stoic husband’s.

There was a long silence, some seriousness mixed with anxiety, until the man let out a sigh. 

Mr. Hwang looked at his son, taking in his little tears, and felt his heart soften. All the repressed confusion and anger, ever since he witnessed the kiss, disappeared into thin air as Hyunjin was trembling like a leaf, terrified.

It hurt.

“I’d rather have an healthy, happy and safe son than no son at all,” he said, simply. It was the truth, Hyunjin was his child, he loved him unconditionally. “Too bad it’s not Seungmin, though,” he added in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

“Dad!” Hyunjin instinctively protested, his ears red from embarrassment. “You can’t say that!”

“I’m joking,” the man replied, slightly laughing, as he took a sip of his drink. It had worked. “Obviously, you like shorties.”

“Changbin is nice to me!” Hyunjin pouted. Changbin slander would never be allowed, not on his watch. His boyfriend was the best.

“Good,” his father said.

“Alright. Ice cream? I want ice cream.” Her mother announced, squeezing her son’s shoulder.  _ Everything would be fine _ , she meant.

Hyunjin nodded, all the tension gone, although he knew they would deepen the topic later.

They loved him, that was all that mattered.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


On this snowy day, Hyunjin and Seungmin shared a warm waffle dipped in caramel on their way to the mall. Minho, Changbin, Jisung and Felix were already ice skating, according to the pictures they shared earlier in their group chat. Thereby, they both figured they could take their time since the others were having fun. They had decided to walk instead of taking the bus; it was cold but the sun shone above their heads and the snow made the city look beautiful.

“What did you do yesterday?” Hyunjin asked in a mouthful of waffle.

“I pitched a bit with my sister, and then we watched an anime.” Seungmin swallowed the last bit of waffle, then folded the paper neatly before placing it inside his pocket until they crossed a trash can. 

He hadn’t been replying his texts last night, so Hyunjin figured that his best friend had found a new anime to watch with his sister— he had taken over her and her love for anime. Felix loved anime too. In fact, that was how they bonded a few years ago. They were all— the four of them, in the same class, and Felix liked a character that Jisung hated. So, in between debates of whose favorite character was the best, they became friends.

Hyunjin didn’t say much, but he remembered how Seungmin would temporize the two others.

“Which anime did you watch?”

“You wouldn’t know even if I told you the name,” Seungmin laughed. “She wanted to watch the old Sailor Moon.”

“I know Sailor Moon,” Hyunjin said, pleased that he had enough knowledge for their conversation. He was interested in his best friend’s hobbies, even if he didn’t share the same interests.

“What about you? What did you do yesterday after supper? You were quiet.” Seungmin noticed because he had opened their group chat before bed and hadn’t seen Hyunjin’s messages. Maybe his best friend had been too grossed out by their  _ boy talk _ , but if that was the case, he would have at least told them to shut up.

“Yes… I was,” Hyunjin trailed. He thought about his parents and their various questions about when did he know he liked boys, how, why did he like Changbin, was it love or was he just curious, and other more personal questions about his faith. It went well in the end, but he had hated the way they dissected him. However, he knew worse happened to other kids, so he felt very thankful.

“Why?”

“Um— My parents saw me kiss Changbin on the cheek.”

Seungmin’s eyes were now round from surprise.

“How did it go?”

“Fine,” Hyunjin let out, a little smile curling his mouth. He narrated yesterday’s evening without missing any details. “I’m lucky.”

“I’m happy for you. Does Changbin know?”

“No. I don’t think I’m going to tell him.”

“You should, he is involved after all.”

“But what if he freaks out and dumps me?”

“Honestly, I don’t think he’s the kind of person to do that.” Seungmin slightly bumped into him. “We’re kids, but we still would do anything for the ones we love, don’t you think? Changbin wouldn’t want to lose you.”

They may not know everything about the world yet, but their feelings were legitimate. His feelings for Changbin were real and losing him would hurt a lot.

“Thanks,” Hyunjin softly said. “You should change your adage to  _ in case of uncertainty, talk to Seungminnie _ .”

Seungmin chuckled.

They kept talking about various topics— Felix and school and Felix again, until they reached the mall. They found their friends at the ice skating area, racing each other, except for Minho who skated on wobbly legs. He had never liked speed and slippery grounds.

After renting their skates, Hyunjin and Seungmin joined them while holding hands. Seungmin wasn’t steady either and missed to slip a few times; he liked ice skating because he was spending time with his friends, but it didn’t mean he was good at it. Soon, Felix skidded over them and held Seungmin’s other hand. Together, they slid towards Changbin and Jisung who were skating in a circle around an annoyed Minho.

“How come Seungminnie gets assistance and I don’t?” The oldest complained while trying to stand straight.

“You’re the adult now. You’re the one assisting us,” Changbin snickered.

Hyunjin left Seungmin in Felix’s hands to skate in circle around Minho as well.

“Is this a new mating circle?” Minho smirked. “Sorry, not interested.”

“What a liar,” Jisung said smugly. “You seemed very interested yesterday.”

“I’m mating this one!” Changbin took Hyunjin’s hand and skated away from their friends.

After half an hour, when they bellies gurgled of hunger, they went to find a place where to eat delicious food. Of course, none of them were hungry for the same thing, so they opted for the cheapest place and agreed to eat american food, to Felix’s biggest pleasure.

They sat around the table, ate and chatted. A lot. About nothing and everything, some weird topics and some serious ones, like distracted kids unable to focus. Hyunjin was always amazed by how different they all were, yet got along and liked each other a lot. 

For instance, Seungmin liked baseball and books. Felix liked fashion, animes and video games. Jisung liked all activities, really, but he especially loved spending time on forums and writing about conspiracy theories. Changbin, well, he went on board with Jisung, so now they were both writing creepy stories on websites Hyunjin caught a glimpse once and scared him for over two weeks— he was having nightmares each night. 

Changbin owned many informative magazines about various topics like genetics, pyramids, animals, space, politics, to the point Hyunjin suspected that the older was simply lost; he didn’t know what he liked yet, thereby he liked everything. 

As for Minho, he was currently studying Speech Therapy, and partied when he wasn’t seeing Jisung or his friends.

Different tastes kept them curious about each other, that was the beauty of their friendship.

After their meals, they went to the park while snacking on street food. They were young, with never ending chasms instead of stomachs; they burned calories just by living.

At the park, a kid with braces accidentally threw a snowball towards them and Jisung, offended, started a snowball fight. Therefore, Changbin held Hyunjin’s hand and, together, they ditched the others.

Changbin brought him further away in the park, somewhere void of people where trees multiplied. He pushed Hyunjin’s backwards against a tree and tiptoed to kiss him. Their lips and noses, numb from the cold, didn’t do as much as press and rub.

Hyunjin cupped his face with his cold hands.

“You’re so cute with your nose and cheeks red,” he told him, his breath equally as cold.

But Changbin didn’t mind the cold touch, his own cheeks were burning from being close to the younger and feeling fluttery things in the middle of his chest.

“What am I going to do without you next year?” Changbin blurted out without thinking. While their relationship only bloomed recently, he had developed feelings for a long time now. Being friends with Hyunjin was the ray of sunshine of his days before, which meant that being romantic friends turned the ray into the whole sun.

“What am  _ I _ going to do without you next year? I’ll be as miserable as Jisung,” Hyunjin pouted as he circled his arms around Changbin’s shorter frame. Changbin was graduating in a few months, and it seemed really close, too close for his liking. “I’m going to text you every single day!”

“Isn’t it what you’re already doing?” Changbin’s grin was huge.

“I’m going to miss you,” Hyunjin whined while tightening his hold. Theoretically, he knew he would survive being without Changbin, but it hurt already, as foolish as it sounded.

“You act like I’m moving out of the country tomorrow,” the older snickered. “I’m just going to college in a few months, we still have time.”

“Not enough time.”

“You should have asked me out last year then,” Changbin teased, kissing Hyunjin before he could frown or protest or react in a way typical of him that wasn’t  _ kissing _ . Right now, Changbin wanted kisses. Right now, he loved the taste of cola and french fries.

“Do you know what you’re going to do next year?” Hyunjin asked after they parted, out of breath.

They were holding hands while walking where the wind would take them.

“Not really,” Changbin admitted. His career was months away, but he was already scared of taking the wrong path. In addition, he was scared shitless about not knowing at all. No clues, nothing. Which probably was the only thing he was insecure about as most kids around had at least an aspiration. “I’m really lost, to be honest.”

“I figured,” Hyunjin kindly replied.

“Is it a bad thing?” Changbin wondered if Hyunjin would still love someone who was in the dark. He knew the younger looked up to him, that he especially loved how audacious he could be, so he was afraid to be a disappointment. “I wish I had an ambition.”

“Hey— You have many interests. I think you don’t know what you prefer.”

“But does it work like that? Is your major supposed to be what your prefer?”

“I think so?” Hyunjin said hesitantly. He didn’t know either, he felt bad for not being able to help the boy he loved. “I’m sorry, I’m not helping you…”

Changbin hummed.

“But there is a thing I like a lot, though.”

“What is it?” The older seemed unsure, so Hyunjin squeezed his hand in reassurance. With a smile, he added, “you can tell me. I won’t judge you.”

“Art History.”

“What’s wrong with Art History?”

“You know how art is perceived in general…” Changbin frowned. There were disciplines taken less seriously than others, that was a fact.

“But it’s just a perception, it’s not the reality. Art is as important, if not more, than everything else. It's heritage.” Hyunjin, upon seeing a smile curling Changbin’s lips, continued. “You know what…  _ Fuck _ what people think.”

At the curse, Changbin roared with laughter.

Hyunjin bit off his satisfied smile, glad that his choice of words made its effect.

“I’m going to study Art History just because you said fuck, that’s it!” Changbin announced, the remains of laughter trapped in the corners of his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Anytime! As long as you do what you love,” Hyunjin replied, smile now huge.

“See, what am I going to do without you? Who’s going to cheer me up with curses?” Changbin dramatically sighed.

“Don’t get used to it, it won’t happen again.”

“Then, how are you going to comfort me?”

“Like that.” Hyunjin stopped in his tracks, pulled Changbin against his chest and leaned down to capture his lips.

The kiss ended in a succession of pecks, and Changbin looked up at Hyunjin in silence as he was lost in his thoughts.

“What are you thinking about?” Hyunjin asked in worry, watching  _ conflict _ ghost over the other’s face. “Changbinnie?”

“Do your parents know?”

“What?” Hyunjin blinked, taken aback.

“I think they saw us. Your mom… She was looking at me in a weird way. I felt like I was an alien or something,” Changbin explained, frowning and averting his eyes. “Maybe it’s just me. It’s probably nothing.”

Hyunjin had forgotten that Changbin had seen his parents and had sensed the same strange atmosphere as well. Hurting the older was the last thing he wanted and he felt bad for neglecting him like that. He should have checked up on his boyfriend instead of letting him question if he had done something wrong all night.

“Changbinnie, I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner,” Hyunjin told him nervously. “They saw us. They know I’m in love with you.”

Changbin didn’t look surprised, though. He was prepared for the eventuality that they guessed they were together from the peck on the cheek alone. No one pecked cheeks except shy kids in love.

“What happened after I left?”

So, Hyunjin told him everything, and apologized again because Changbin’s sexuality was known without his permission; Hyunjin how precious one’s sexuality was.

“I promise they won’t tell your parents or anything,” Hyunjin continued as panic was filling in his head once again. “They— They’re fine with us being together.”

“Okay,” Changbin said quietly. His shoulders slumped a bit, that wasn’t how he imagined things to go. Nevertheless, the reality couldn’t be changed, so he had to accept it. Things could have gone worse, like Hyunjin being hurt, like not being with Hyunjin anymore or something as cruel for his juvenile heart. “I’m glad everything is fine.”

“It is, I promise.”

“No, really. I’m really happy,” Changbin said while hugging Hyunjin and squishing his face in his thick coat. “I care about you a lot.”

Hyunjin’s giggle warmed his heart that was already burning with feelings.

“I care about you too. Ever since we met,” Hyunjin voiced in a smile Changbin could easily  _ hear _ and picture. He rested his chin on top of his head and hummed in contentment. “You told Jisung that boyfriends weren’t allowed in the club. He didn’t get the joke, though.”

He remembered the day Jisung brought him to the Art Club, how he had let go of Hyunjin’s hand, grimaced and leaned over Changbin to whisper: “Dude, are you kidding me? I’m trying to get into Minho’s pants!” They were fourteen at the time, but Jisung talked like he was twenty two.

“Neither did you.”

“Admit that you did all those jokes back then just to know if I was single or not,” Hyunjin playfully said as he broke the hug and grinned. “You could have asked me, instead.”

“Right,” Changbin smirked. “But come on, it would have been less fun.”

“I agree, it was fun. I liked everything coming from you,” Hyunjin confessed, his cheeks pinker.

“It took me one second to like you,” Changbin confessed in return. “You just walked in, shy and hiding behind Jisung, and I was sold.” It was his first time seeing Hyunjin up close. He had seen him before, thought he was pretty and moved on. But up close? His heart had skipped a few beats.

“I wasn’t hiding behind Jisung!”

“You were, you looked so lost.”

“Fine. I was,” Hyunjin conceded as his lips knotted into a pout. “You made me feel comfortable, though.”

“I’m a gentleman.” Changbin smiled, lopsided and cocky.

“You are. You’re the best,” Hyunjin softly said as he left a kiss in the middle of his forehead.

The touch felt like a small bird taking wing.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave comments, it's what keep us fed. I hope you enjoyed reading. ♡
> 
> twt: @hyuniebinie


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